


Happiness is in a paper cup

by Arlene0401



Series: Tumblr drabbles and oneshots 2016 [6]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Lawyer Erwin Smith, Light Angst, Sasha is a cheeky sunshine, barista Sasha, depressed erwin, silly messages on coffee cups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 09:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6112546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlene0401/pseuds/Arlene0401
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin has given up all hopes of happiness after having been rejected by the love of his life. That is, until a cheeky barista makes an appearance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happiness is in a paper cup

**Author's Note:**

> My entry for "Ship Appreciation Day" during the Nohate Awareness Week, hosted by SNK artists' network on tumblr. Some time before I had an idea for an Erwin x Sasha ficlet so this was the perfect opportunity :-)
> 
> Artist [nayawata](http://nayawata.tumblr.com/post/139594030799/for-glassesgirl0401-sashaxerwin-i-hate-you) made art for this! Look here, it's so sweet!

The sky was a clear and beautiful blue, promising a day full of sunshine. Ideal for a lazy day in the park or at the beach. But Erwin Smith didn’t notice.

He never noticed.

Erwin Smith spent his days buried in his office, and his weekends buried in his apartment. Since Marie, the love of his life, had married his friend Nile Dok instead of him, he devoted his life entirely to work. There was nothing else to live for, nothing else to hope. He refused to believe that any woman could catch his heart like Marie had done, and therefore refused to look forward. Or move on. Or live a life.

His hopes and dreams had been cremated at Marie’s and Nile’s wedding - ironically he had been forced to act as best man, and no one had heard the silent screams as Nile had lifted the veil and kissed his bride.

Erwin trudged forward on his usual path to work, carrying his usual briefcase, and headed to his usual café to order his usual black coffee to go. Caffeine was what kept him going, and he wanted it hot and in a cup, other aspects he didn’t care about.

He walked up to the counter and mumbled: “Large coffee, black”, without even looking up, counting the money instead.

“Not from me you’re not getting any”, an angry female voice answered.

Erwin looked up in surprise.

Behind the counter was a young woman, brown hair tied in a neat ponytail. She made the impression of a cheerful person, but right now she had crossed her arms and glowered at Erwin as if he had ordered freshly pressed cat juice.

“Pardon?” Erwin managed, stunned.

“You’re not getting any more plain black coffee here. I’m sick of this. Order something else or get out of my shop.”

A young man with a shaved head rushed up and tugged frantically at her arm.

“Sasha, don’t, you can’t handle customers like this, please Sir, excuse us, of course you’ll get your coffee...” he rambled, clearly in panic that they would lose their jobs.  
The woman - Sasha - shook him off.

“No, Connie, I won’t have it. I am the best fucking barista in town, and this... this...grey face here comes every day, won’t even say good morning or please and thanks and orders his black coffee as if this was some run-down snack point.”

Connie kept on pleading to her and apologizing to Erwin, but none of them payed any attention.

Erwin was completely baffled. The nerve of this girl! As if it was her business what he ordered! He was not here to feed her barista ego, he was here to get his coffee, and thatasap.  
The girl kept staring at him, but there was a hint of pity in her eyes.

“Look at you, it’s a goddamn shame. Actually you could be quite good looking, you know? But you look as if you don’t have a single joy in the world. When was the last time you did something enjoyable? Something fun?”

Erwin felt as if he had been stabbed in the heart. He hadn’t expected to look as tired and worn out and dead as he felt. And he certainly hadn’t expect someone to notice and care.  
Especially not a barista who saw him once a day for two minutes.

“Tell you what, Mister. I will fix you something tasty. Something that is worth the effort. It’s on me. If you like it, you can come back tomorrow and order whatever you want. If not, then don’t show your face here again and get your black coffee somewhere else.”

Both Connie and Erwin gaped at her boldness.

Then Erwin nodded, slowly. What did he have to lose? He’d get a free coffee, and if worse came to worst, he would have to look for a new café tomorrow.

One where the barista wasn’t batshit crazy.

She turned around and proceeded to prepare something that was hopefully hot and hopefully contained caffeine, while Connie fluttered around nervously.

“Any food allergies?” Sasha asked over her shoulder.

“Not that I know of”, Erwin mumbled, and she shot him a smile.

“There you go”, she said while she scribbled something on the paper cup with a black marker, “double mocca latte with vanilla syrup.” She pushed the cup over the counter. “Enjoy.” Her smile brightened up even more as she added: “See you tomorrow?”

Erwin shrugged and mumbled something intellegible into his collar., picked up his cup and nearly fled out of the door.

How ridiculous. Fleeing from a cheeky barista? He should go back and demand to see the manager. Then he remembered her smile and looked at what she had scribbled on his cup. There was a bright sun with a big smilie face, and underneath that she had written: _It’s a beautiful day. Spend your lunch break outside!_

In spite of himself, Erwin smiled. It was a strange sensation on his face, muscles coordinating in ways they had long forgotten.

When he had arrived in his office and settled down, he lifted the lid off the cup, and the aroma filling his nostrils was nothing like anything he had ever smelled before. It was aromatic and uplifting and strangely comforting. He sipped carefully and leaned back with his eyes closed.

This was not some hot, black caffeine bearer. This was heaven condensed in a paper cup. It was dark and sweet and creamy, the slightly bitter tang of the mocca accompanied beautifully by the sweet milk and tinged with vanilla. Why had he ever refused to try something like this?

Once he had drained the cup and tossed it in the trash, he settled to business as usual. But the events of the morning kept lurking in the back of his brain, so by lunchtime he rose against all his usual routine, told his bemused secretary he would be out for a while and didn’t pause to see her jaw hit the desk, rushing out instead.

There was a small park nearby, and he slowly walked around it. He sat down on a bench and felt the spring sun warming his back. He had nearly forgotten there was a world beyond working and sleeping. Maybe... just maybe it wasn’t so bad.

Just then a young woman came into view, pushing a pram, a small kid drawing erratic circles around her as she walked. The little girl was excited at everything, spring flowers, a bird, a twig on the path, and her mother laughed at her sqeals and shouts and agitated pointing.

Weren’t Marie’s and Nile’s kids around this age? Erwin felt his mood drop immediately. It was a harmless scene - a young mother and her children enjoying a stroll in the park - but it reminded him of everything he had been denied. Everything that he lost. Children. A family. A future.

Shoulders hunched, he stormed back to his office and spent the rest of his day frightening the living daylights out of his employees. Petra, his secretary, mumbled to herself that if her boss spending the lunchbreak outdoors resulted in this, she would pretend to suddenly get sick the next time.

******************************************

The next morning found Erwin standing outside the café and shuffling his feet for full five minutes before he decided to go in after all. The barista may be a nutcase, and her advice had resulted in desaster, but her coffee had been divine. He would get his coffee and ignore all the craziness she decided to dump on him.

This time he actually did look at her as he walked in and was greeted by a bright smile.

“Good morning, Mr Grey Face! I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist coming back.”

“Erm, yes. The coffee was… different from usual.”

“And… was different _better_?”

“Well… yes.”

“Yes!” She pumped her fist in the air, and Erwin wondered how someone could get so enthusiastic over something so trivial. But she looked nice in her triumph, eyes sparkling, her large grin showing white teeth and giving her dimples.

Sasha leaned her elbow on the counter and lowered her voice as if she had to reveal something confidential.

“So, what’s it gonna be today, Mister? Same as yesterday? Or are you up for an adventure?”

Erwin mulled this over. “Surprise me, then”, he heard himself say. _What?_

“Okaaayyyy”, Sasha drawled with a smirk.

Erwin watched as she ground coffee beans and filled them into a machine. He mused how modern coffee machines always had to look as if they could launch a space shuttle. What had happened to the old on/off button?

Again, she scribbled something on the cup before handing it over. “Regular espresso with chili chocolate. This baby will keep you running for a while.” She winked, took his money and handed back the change.

“See you tomorrow, Mister!” she shouted after him as he pushed through the door.

“Yeah”, Erwin muttered.

Outside, he turned the cup around curiously. Not that it mattered much, he just wanted to know.

_Who do you want to be today?_

Erwin snorted. Stupid question. He was Erwin Smith, lawyer, partner in a major law firm, the fear of prosecutors and opponents. Who else was there to be?

He marched to his office, threw his briefcase on his desk and shrugged the jacket off impatiently. What was the coffee today? Oh, right. Regular espresso, with chili chocolate.  
Coffee, chili and chocolate. Sounded ridiculous enough. Well, Sasha had had a point with her recommendation yesterday. He should at least give it a try.

Again, he lifted the lid off and sniffed the beverage cautiously. It smelled completey different, bitter, strong and enticing.

But the espresso too tasted divine. The strong aroma of the espresso was moderated by the sweetness of the chocolate, and in the aftermath the chili left heat, following the path of the coffee and warming his body. He felt… exhilarated, much different from the caffeine rush that he was used to.

That morning, he tended to his work with a lot more pep, albeit lacking in venom a little. He accepted several compromises that he would otherwise have swept of his desk with a huff, complimented Petra on her new haircut and called a judge he hated to wish him a fast recovery because he had heard the poor sod was in hospital.

By lunchtime he announced again that he was going out, and Petra developed a nervous tic in her left eyelid.

Although he felt hesitant, he headed for the park again. The encounter with the young mother had unsettled him yesterday, but still the fresh air and the sunshine had felt pleasant.  
This time however, he met no families. The only person he met was a very old man who walked a very old dog. Both walked stiffly and wobbly, and the dog stopped to sniff at every second blade of grass. The old man never dragged or urged him along, but waited patiently until the dog had inspected what had caught his interest. Then the dog would lift his dull, half-blind eyes to his owner, and both would move a few more steps. The man chatted to his dog and to himself, commenting on the nice weather and how good it felt for their old bones, and how glad he was they had another beautiful spring together, and that the butcher had promised to give him a juicy fresh beef bone when they dropped by on their way home.

Erwin watched them as they slowly moved out of sight. Those two ancient creatures, tired snd sching as they were, still seemd happy and content with what they had, with simple pleasures and just having a nice peaceful day. 

Was it really that bad to lay back every now and then and just… be? Not be successful, not be triumphant, or rich, or important. Just be. Maybe you didn’t need to reach something specific to gain happiness. Maybe… maybe forsaking happiness because it was not found where it was expected was wrong. You couldn’t plan it, you couldn’t deserve it or buy it. It was either there or it wasn’t, and you could accept it or you didn’t.

For the first time, Erwin suspected that he willingly had turned his blind eye to happiness in refusing to move on.

*********************************************

“So you want your usual surprise, Mister?”

“Erwin.”

“Okay, Mister Erwin.”

“No, just Erwin.”

“Hey Connie! Meet Mister Nojusterwin!”

********************************************

It became Erwin’s routine to pick up a hot beverage at Sasha’s café, taking whatever she offered him, and each was so less than delicious. He started not only greeting her and Connie, who still lurked shy in the background, but chatting a little every day, sometimes just pleasantries, sometimes bits and pieces about their lives. Thus she learned what law firm he worked for, where he lived and what his father was like, and he learned she shared an apartment with Connie (but entirely for financial and friendship reasons), loved cats and her lovely shiny brown hair was naturally coloured.

Sasha still called him Mister Nojusterwin and scribbled little notes and doodles on his coffee cups. sometimes it was fortune cookies style wisdoms, sometimes utter nonsense like “Beware of falling pianos” or doodles of kittens or flowers.

Erwin’s senior partner, Darius Zackley, remarked that he had become worryingly soft. Petra was delighted by the occasional flowers she found on her desk or the kind inquiries about her family. Nile was completely silenced when for the first time after his wedding Erwin accepted an invitation for dinner. Nile had spoken the invitation out of habit and politeness, not expecting in the least that Erwin would accept, and hurriedly had to call Marie and alert her to the long awaited guest.

**********************************************

Erwin turned down Nile’s offer to give him a ride home after dinner, opting for a quiet walk instead. It left him enough time to examine his feelings. all in all, he found, he hadn’t done too badly. Nile and Marie had so obviously been happy to have him there, their kids had been terrific, and it had been a slightly awkward but nice evening. Erwin didn’t feel completely relieved or free yet, but he didn’t suffer from crushing grief or an overwhelming sense of loss and hopelessness. Maybe it was time. Maybe he could move on. He would have to tell Sasha. Sasha would understand. She didn’t know why he had been a grey face, as she had called him, but she had seen and rejoyced in him gradually waking up from the dead.

He didn’t get a chance though.

When he came into the café the next morning, he wasn’t greeted by Sasha’s bright smile. Behind the counter, a blond woman with a hair bun stared unimpressed at the wall behind him. “Welcome to Sina’s Café, what can I do for you?” she drwaled in a monotone, still looking at something just past his left shoulder.

Erwin was lost. “Erm, sorry… I…”

The woman stared at him with a bored and slightly contemptous air. From somewhere in the back of the shop, Connie’s head perked up.

“Oh, Annie, it’s alright, I can take this order.” He hurried up and smiled apologetically at Erwin.

“Sasha has given me instructions for your order, so we should be okay. I fear I’m nowhere as good as she is, but I think I’m not half bad.” He puffed his chest out in pride, obviously delighted in serving Sasha’s special customer.

Connie drew a little piece of paper out of his pants pocket and studied it carefully before he set to the preparations.

”Where is Sasha? Is she sick?” Erwin asked anxiously.

Connie turned his head.

“Oh no, nothing like that. We were running short on staff in the evening shift, so she was asked to switch. Dunno if it’s only temporary. Depends on if we find someone new. But as I said, she left me instructions, yo youĺl get your coffee surprise as usual.”

He picked up the black marker and dotted something on the cup, tongue stuck between his teeth in concentration.

Erwin paid for his drink, not even bothering to ask what it was. Instead, he said: “You share a place, don’t you? say hello from me when you see her.” To his surprise, Connie chuckled.

“Oh, I don’t thinka that’s necessary, Mister Nojusterwin.”

Erwin looked at him quizzically, then shrugged and walked out. Only in his office did he see what Connie had written for him. In scrawley letters it said: “Call Sasha” and a phone number.

Erwin laughed. This summer was going to be a good summer.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find my SNK and personal blog under [glassesgirl0401](http://glassesgirl0401.tumblr.com)


End file.
